I Cannot Brain Today

Or:

Jump School As Performed By A Lobotomy Patient

So, my plan for Tuesday evening was a jump school since, you know, I have a horse trial on Sunday and I haven't jumped a full course since the fall, and haven't jumped anything resembling a stadium fence since April.

But, work stress being a huge factor in my mental state, things didn't quite go the route of Magical Fantastic Jump Time.

While grooming and tacking up generally helps me get in the zone for riding, it just didn't happen yesterday, and I went the whole ride without actually ever using my brain.

It was an interesting experience, really; sort of an out-of-body type of thing. I watched the entire ride unfold, noted mistakes and things I should have been doing differently, and yet did absolutely nothing about it.

In the warm up Dino was really dead off my leg and inverted and his hind end was trailing a mile behind him, but did I make the effort to actually use my flatwork skills and put him together? OF COURSE NOT. Because apparently jumping does not require the horse to be moving in balance and with impulsion. Or something.

Note To Self: Shorten your g**d**** reins and put your leg on for heaven's sake.

I had to run Dino up the hill a couple times to get him actually moving. But it worked, so yay?

ONWARD, MIGHTY STEED!

ONWARD, I SAY! 

I started off with a tiny little trot-in bounce, which Dino actually jumped quite adorably:

I'm really enjoying how he's pushing off evenly with both hinds in this picture! Having jumped the bounce successfully, I added in more and more fences. And while nothing absolutely disastrous happened, my lack of coherent thought definitely resulted in more than a few really ugly fences.

Thankfully, my pony is a wonderful being and he jumped EVERYTHING I pointed him at, even when I wasn't being clear about what I wanted or put him in a terrible spot.

Let's leave from five miles away. That sounds like a good idea. 

I essentially just spectated my own riding without being active or making any actual decisions. I'd notice that my canter was long/flat/underpowered/etc., but I never made any changes. I'd think to myself, "Hey, this distance is going to be practically underneath the fence, and we're going uphill, and I totally don't have enough impulsion. OH WELL!" and just continue to come to the jump without actively riding. And so this happened:

Saint Dino.

Though I have to give myself credit for the second time over this green and pink fence, as I did make sure we had more impulsion and I rode to the distance I saw. It was still a bit short, but the overall jump was MUCH better:

Same point in the jump, VASTLY improved form

Throughout the ride, I just didn't feel "with it". I didn't have any stops, I didn't fall off, we didn't crash through anything, it just wasn't good riding.

Yeah that happened..

I'm not happy with the way my leg is swinging all over the place in every photo, although that may partially be the product of my cheating and putting my stirrups up a hole.

While I proved to myself that we're definitely capable of a clear round at 2'3" even if I'm riding like a literal potato, I was not pleased at all with the lack of focus on my part. I'm definitely a little disappointed in myself.

So, to break it down, let's look at the negatives and positives of this jump school:

Negative

• No mental focus
• Did not adjust canter appropriately
• Poor leg position
• Poorly ridden warm-up
• Poor eye for a distance

Positive

• NO anxiety concerning terrain, jumps, cantering/jumping downhill
• Did NOT get anxious and hold to a bad distance or chip at the last second
• Totally relaxed!
• Took the long one without getting frazzled
• Dino was very, very, VERY honest

Our ride wasn't the best, it wasn't the worst, I'm not very pleased, but I don't completely hate myself. I have the opportunity to join in a group jumping lesson on Friday evening, but I'm still undecided as to whether or not I'll participate. With all the stress happening elsewhere in my life right now, I'm not sure it's the wisest use of my money. On the other hand, it might be good to get in a lesson before the weekend. 

I just don't know. I cannot brain today.