Hustle Harder?




As horsewomen, a lot of our identity is built around how hard we work.

The internet is rife with articles featuring the adult amateur rider who Does It All; women who work full time jobs, raise families, and somehow fit in the time to ride, compete, and win. They're up before the sun every day and to bed late each night. Honestly, I don't know when they sleep.

Or relax.

Or clean the house.

Or spend time with the people they love.

Maybe they don't?

In the blogosphere and elsewhere, I've built a reputation of being that hard-working adult amateur rider we all want to be. I worked hard. Really hard. Holding down 2-3 jobs at any given time, riding 6 days a week, showing twice a month, taking lessons at least weekly, traveling to clinics, foxhunting, and writing this blog. I hustled. A very, very flexible set of part-time jobs helped a lot. But the hard work never ended.


That hustle, especially in equestrian circles, is praised effusively. While this is also an American cultural issue, the answer to most problems in the horse world is Just Work Harder. And if you're not willing to sleep less, work more, ride longer, sacrifice everything for the sport, there's a not-so-subtle message that you Don't Want It Enough. If you aren't near-burnout, you aren't a Serious Equestrian. If you aren't doing too much, you aren't doing enough. Want to be good at this sport? Hustle harder.

And there's a lot of truth to that. Riding in any discipline is not easy, eventing especially, and horses are expensive and hard work no matter what. But I've come to the realization over the past year or so that maybe the Hustle Harder attitude isn't all it's cracked up to be.

I now hold a full-time 9-5 job without flexible hours and only one additional part-time job. My time to ride each week is limited, and I've gone from a solid 6 day a week schedule to 4 or 5 days at best. I own a house with 2 acres of land that has to be maintained. My collection of animals has somehow grown exponentially, and they all need care. I've built a local church family and I LOVE spending time with them and contributing to that community. And my husband likes to see me once in a while, too. In short, it's become impossible for me to keep up the intensity of riding I was doing without sacrificing a lot of time, important relationships, and most of my sanity.


Being forced to take a step back from the competition ring when we bought our house and I started my new job at the end of 2017 reminded me that while showing and working hard at smashing competitive goals is all well and good, there are lots of ways to enjoy owning and riding horses that don't require so much hustle, and so much time away from the other important things in life.  And that those alternate equestrian avenues are just as valid as a wholehearted dedication to the Husltle Harder, competitive lifestyle.

I can still be a "real, serious" rider without working my ass off 24/7. I can still love to learn, improve, and challenge myself even when I'm not running full steam. And most of the time, it feels good to take the pressure off and settle into the fact that I have nothing to prove to myself, and my identity as an equestrian doesn't depend on how much I exhaust myself for this crazy sport.

But even in light of that truth, sometimes I still feel guilty and I still feel like I'm not doing enough. Not riding hard enough, not at the barn enough, not trying enough, not wanting it enough. When the guilt creeps in, it's good to take a deep breath and remember that the things I gain from the Hustle Harder mindset sometimes just aren't worth the cost.

We are enough as riders, as horsewomen, without having to work ourselves to the bone.

Is your hustle helping you, or breaking you?



Comments

  1. I hustled and always felt guilty that it wasn’t enough. This year I’m letting go of that- or trying to. I’m enjoying my riding much more. And no one seems to be noticing that I’m a slacker. 😉

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  2. I was super competitive growing up and that held true throughout my early twenties, when I began competing again. Since I got Niko, while I still work hard, I also don't feel guilty for riding less or skipping lessons because of other things going on in my life. Horses are really important to me, but there are also things that are MORE important (something teenage me would have been HORRIFIED to hear!)

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  3. Life Balance. Preach!

    When I quit working for trainers after two years, that was what people told me - you didn't want it hard enough, you didn't work hard enough, you weren't dedicated. It was really, really hard to let that go, and realize that - exactly as you said - I can be a serious rider without burning myself out. We are certainly enough as riders. Thank you for posting!

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  4. it's a shame this is too long to tattoo on my arm, because I constantly need to remind myself. Especially when I was working and in school part time and I was so stressed going "WHY DON'T I HAVE TIME TO DO ANYTHING???"

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  5. Well that hit home pretty hard right now. Lots to think about. Thank you.

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  6. It's a lot to balance.

    I'm just getting back into horses and I can already see where it's going to be rough balancing what needs to happen for pone on a daily basis with everything else in my life, and my goals for him are basically "be a nice civilized trail pony and we'll see what else looks fun when we get that part down'...

    But horses are worth it.

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  7. It took me YEARS to get to this point where I have realized I am not happy if I'm 150% horses and hardwork 150% of the time. I have other things I enjoy (love even!) and I need them in my life - it makes me a stronger rider to have that balance in my life. Does it mean I don't progress as fast? Sure. But at the end of the day, I'm happy when I'm also seeing friends, spending time and money on clothes and fun things, traveling, dating, and working on my career goals. I may never be the SUPEROMG dedicated amateur and I will also never ride at upper levels, but you know what? I'm okay with that. Happy with that, even.

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  8. Funny, I was just thinking about this last night -- as in, I'm so glad that I'm old enough to have some perspective & no longer feel compelled to push myself to crazy levels. I turned 40 this year & you know what, I enjoy the fact that with the crazy heat indexes this weekend, it doesn't bother me one bit to just not ride. I don't do a whole lot else, LOL, but resting is important too because my job wears me out and then some. I spent a long time running around doing so many different things & I really enjoyed all of them -- but I'm liking a slower pace these days. Plus -- I innately dislike the whole "just work harder" trope that is often dished out, implying that you can have whatever you want, when the truth is that luck & opportunity & often, the cash to do something about it, play just as big a role in how things work out. I work hard when I need to, but I no longer feel guilty about the choices that are right for me.

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  9. I think it's about finding balance. So may people chase and chase but are still unhappy. Better to set smaller more achievable goals and actually enjoy life. Doesn't mean not being driven but channelling drive to all aspects of your life including happiness, significant others, and balance. Just my non upper level riding 50 year old perspective...

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