Simple Steps For Not Looking Like A Slob

Horses are gross.

They like to roll in dirt, sleep in poop, cover themselves in mud, grow much more hair than necessary, and wrap entire trees in their manes and tails.

So, if you would like your horse to be presentable to the general public, there are a few things you can do to be sure your pony doesn't look like a total heathen. All you need is a decent pair of clippers!

Tip 1:

Clip the bridle path.

The bridle path shouldn't be much wider than the crownpiece of your bridle, and you should clip the mane flush to the neck so bridles and halters sit nice and flat. Your tack will fit better, and your pony will look tidy with no unsightly hair bunched under his bridle.

Tip 2:

Shave that muzzle!

Grab your clippers, with a #30 blade if you have it, and shave off the whiskers on your pony's muzzle. This is also a great time to clip under the jaw if your horse grows an old man goat beard like Dino does. We're starting to look show-ready now!

Tip 3:

Tidy up the ears


I like to leave most of the hair inside the ears for bug protection, but clipping away any ear fluff that sticks out, as well as clipping the edges of the ears, helps give them a sharper outline and adds to the "I'm Not A Hobo" look. 

Tip 4: 

Don't forget the feet! 

The hair around your horse's coronet band might not be something you really think about, but clipping around the edge of the hoof creates a beautiful clean line, and 3 minutes of time with the clippers goes a long way to making your pony look super sharp. I also trim fetlocks so that no hair sticks out from beneath boots or wraps.

And there you have it! Literally ten minutes and a pair of clippers, along with your regular grooming routine, can have your pony looking super spiffy. It will almost be like they didn't just roll in a mud puddle.

*Not shown here is a neatly-pulled mane, because I haven't gotten to that part yet. 


  1. Ah but a neatly pulled mane is like making the bed in a messy room. It takes such a large portion of the appearance that it goes a long way to making a horse look civilized. :)

    1. So very true! But when I had the thought "I should pull his mane so he doesn't look half-way done" I then looked at him, realized his mane was still wet from his bath, and gave up on that for the day.

  2. This post should be called "things Simon is waaaaaaaay overdue for and his mom has been a slacker"

  3. I am so with you on 1, 2, and 3, but owning a native pony breed that bounces between eventing and breed shows, #4 is out of the question, to the chagrin of my trainer. He didn't inherit massive amounts of feather, so when his feathers are shedding either for summer or winter, they look scraggly and it drives me crazy. I just make sure the rest of him is a bath away from the show ring and say C'est la vie!

    1. If I had anything with a remote amount of feather, I admit I would clip it all right off! The woman I buy my feed from has Gypsy Vanners and I don't know how she deals! It's nice to "meet" another adult pony rider, too! :)

  4. Alex is badly in need of this... hopefully it will happen this weekend :-)


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