Hustle Harder?

As horsewomen, a lot of our identity is built around how hard we work.

The internet is rife with articles featuring the adult amateur rider who Does It All; women who work full time jobs, raise families, and somehow fit in the time to ride, compete, and win. They're up before the sun every day and to bed late each night. Honestly, I don't know when they sleep.

Or relax.

Or clean the house.

Or spend time with the people they love.

Maybe they don't?

In the blogosphere and elsewhere, I've built a reputation of being that hard-working adult amateur rider we all want to be. I worked hard. Really hard. Holding down 2-3 jobs at any given time, riding 6 days a week, showing twice a month, taking lessons at least weekly, traveling to clinics, foxhunting, and writing this blog. I hustled. A very, very flexible set of part-time jobs helped a lot. But the hard work never ended.

That hustle, especially in equestrian circles, is praised effusively. While this is also an American cultural issue, the answer to most problems in the horse world is Just Work Harder. And if you're not willing to sleep less, work more, ride longer, sacrifice everything for the sport, there's a not-so-subtle message that you Don't Want It Enough. If you aren't near-burnout, you aren't a Serious Equestrian. If you aren't doing too much, you aren't doing enough. Want to be good at this sport? Hustle harder.

And there's a lot of truth to that. Riding in any discipline is not easy, eventing especially, and horses are expensive and hard work no matter what. But I've come to the realization over the past year or so that maybe the Hustle Harder attitude isn't all it's cracked up to be.

I now hold a full-time 9-5 job without flexible hours and only one additional part-time job. My time to ride each week is limited, and I've gone from a solid 6 day a week schedule to 4 or 5 days at best. I own a house with 2 acres of land that has to be maintained. My collection of animals has somehow grown exponentially, and they all need care. I've built a local church family and I LOVE spending time with them and contributing to that community. And my husband likes to see me once in a while, too. In short, it's become impossible for me to keep up the intensity of riding I was doing without sacrificing a lot of time, important relationships, and most of my sanity.

Being forced to take a step back from the competition ring when we bought our house and I started my new job at the end of 2017 reminded me that while showing and working hard at smashing competitive goals is all well and good, there are lots of ways to enjoy owning and riding horses that don't require so much hustle, and so much time away from the other important things in life.  And that those alternate equestrian avenues are just as valid as a wholehearted dedication to the Husltle Harder, competitive lifestyle.

I can still be a "real, serious" rider without working my ass off 24/7. I can still love to learn, improve, and challenge myself even when I'm not running full steam. And most of the time, it feels good to take the pressure off and settle into the fact that I have nothing to prove to myself, and my identity as an equestrian doesn't depend on how much I exhaust myself for this crazy sport.

But even in light of that truth, sometimes I still feel guilty and I still feel like I'm not doing enough. Not riding hard enough, not at the barn enough, not trying enough, not wanting it enough. When the guilt creeps in, it's good to take a deep breath and remember that the things I gain from the Hustle Harder mindset sometimes just aren't worth the cost.

We are enough as riders, as horsewomen, without having to work ourselves to the bone.

Is your hustle helping you, or breaking you?